An Open Letter to UBE

There is a reason for everything.

Before I start, let me say thank you to everyone on UBE. I'm grateful to God that I got the chance to meet and know you.

I'm grateful for everything you've done for TVXQute. Thank you for all the help on each and everything. It made things easier for the group. And thank you for the support. The fansigns, fanchants, spazzes, everything. Thank you.

Thank you TVXQute for offering a place for me. I'm not the best dancer out there. You can actually find a replacement any time. So, thanks a lot for keeping me. I swear that I'll do my best on the Dream Concert. I owe you guys that much. Sorry for the times that I can't attend our practices. Things at school just escalated at a level where I can't ignore them anymore. Thanks for understanding.

I'm really grateful.

There, I've said it. It's late, but as they say, better late than never.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

So, I'll start addressing the issues. One by one.

1) Helping out AKTF

It's not really helping out.

The first time I heard about the group, I raised an eyebrow. TVXQ's songs are vocally and technically big. I said, 'Seriously? Can they pull off a TVXQ song?'

But inside, I felt jealous.

I always wanted to be in one.

It's not really helping them AKTF guys out. I always wanted to do that. It's my dream to sing on stage. It's my dream to sing TVXQ songs on stage, no matter how horrible I sounded like. Everyone would understand. It's TVXQ we are covering anyway.

So when Mayi asked me if I can be their Changmin, I agreed on the spot.

I told you guys about it. I thought you'd be happy with it.

Some WERE happy about it.

Others, well... That leads to another issue.

2) Not joining the Flashmob

I don't even have plans to attend the kPop Convention at the first place.

Of course I wanted to be a part of the flashmob. I'm a true Cassiopeia after all.

I chose not to join.

But still, I decided to join AKTF.

So, why?

I'm a college student in his third year. The most difficult year, so they say. I think it's true. Thanks to my skills in time management, I lagged behind all the school works.

Then there's the Dream Concert. I messed up during the auditions, and I messed up during our performance at Dan's debut, and I messed up during our performance on the kPop Song Fest. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to watch videos of those performances.

I have to polish my dance moves. It's a serious business.

In a few words, I'm busy. I didn't have enough time to learn a new dance. I know myself better than anyone anyway.

I decided to join AKTF because there's no need for me to study a new dance. Plus, the group is more on singing. I know the songs by heart, so memorizing the lyrics isn't a problem. I didn't even need to attend their practices, but it's inevitable.

3) Not informing everyone about it before I made my decision

Okay, this is the main issue, I think.

Totoo yung sinabi ni Mayi, sinabi ko talaga yun. She actually suggested that we asked for an apology from everyone who's involved, but I'm so pissed off at what happened. I said, 'Di na kelangan. Bakit magpapaalam? Kay Mama nga di ako nagpaalam eh.'

I'm nineteen years old. I can decide for myself, thank you very much. I really do not see the need to ask for the permission of anyone before doing anything.

Of course I considered TVXQute and everyone in connection with it in deciding for the matter.

'TVXQute is still the main priority, and I promise that anything in relation with AKTF won't interfere with the practices and things on TVXQute,' that's what I said.

Ate B, I'm so grateful that you help out with things on TVXQute. Everything went smooth thanks to you and everyone else who helped.

But I think OA na yung kelangan ko pang ipagpaalam sa inyo. Sorry if you felt that you were bypassed.

I owe you a lot, nasabi ko na yun sa panimula ng open letter na ito, but sana wag ganun. It felt like I'm somebody's pet.

I'm my own master.

I LOVE TVXQute and everyone associated with it. It may appear na the love isn't enough for me to ask your opinion about the AKTF issue, but that's wrong. I just thought that it's safe to decide by myself kasi nga di naman maaapektuhan yung pagiging TVXQute member ko. Di naman ako mahuhuli sa mga practice, sa steps, and everything. That's the main issue when someone's joining a group while being a member of another group first.

Okay, so next time I'll inform you if something comes up. ;)

But bear in mind that the decision will always come from me.

And I'll say it na. I want to be a PERMANENT member of AKTF. It's singing, and I can do it better than dancing. And I love it more than dancing.

Di ko kasi alam eh. I'm hurt kapag napupuri yung ibang members ng TVXQute. I feel that I'm not good enough. Kaya minsan pag pinupuri ako ng iba, like Ate Marj, sinasabi ko, 'Weh?'

I don't know if I'm not confident with myself. Hell I don't think it has something to do with confidence at all. I just hate the feeling of failing, of falling below the standards.

Well anyway, don't worry. I have no plans of leaving TVXQute. I'm proud of being a part of it. Lagi ko pa ngang naku-kwento yan sa mga kaklase ko eh.

So that's my side.

*may nakalimutan ba kong i-address? ahahaha yung kay Don separate yun, private.*

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